How To Make Your Very Own Zombie

Don't get any ideas.

Wait, why are we posting this? more

Zombie Signs

Please note that these are not signs you're a zombie. They're signs. About zombies. more

The 37 Greatest Zombie Triumphs

You might think that an article labeled "zombie triumphs" would be about when the zombies win. Fortunately, this article has nothing to do with that. more

Man Punches “Zombie” In Iowa Restaurant

Look, we're all glad that citizens are attempting to take on zombies by themselves, but leave the zombie slaying to the trained professionals. Yes, even the Zombie Rights Campaign. more

Animatronic Zombie

Shoot! SHOOT! more

Zombie Apocalypse Invades Champions

First there was Marvel Zombies. Now they're invading the Champions Universe. Too bad those two universes don't have their own versions of the NCRPC. We'll stick our own, superhero-free reality, thanks. more

Zombie Rights Campaign

We believe in all kinds of zombie rights.

They have the right to be blown to bits by a shotgun.

...the right to a frontal lobotomy courtesy of an NCRPC agent.

...the right to be hacked up, chainsawed, axed, torn, slashed, shredded, melted, burned, exploded, squashed, crushed, and otherwise mutilated. more

Now they have a prom...

Will the zombie rights never end? more

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage...

Then comes...more zombies, we guess. more

Zombie Wedding Cake

If you can find a woman willing to have this as her wedding cake, she's a keeper. more

5 Ways to Accidentally Start a Zombie Apocalypse

Don't get any ideas. more

The Zombie Game Experiment

This game rocks. Because it has a cat launcher as a weapon.

Or it will, eventually. more

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

NCRPC agents' hit rate to the head is 51%.

Before you laugh, note that:

In 1992 the overall police hit potential was 17%. Where distances could be determined, the hit percentages at distances under 15 yards were:

Less than 3 yards ….. 28%
3 yards to 7 yards …. 11%
7 yards to 15 yards . 4.2%

It has been assumed that if a man can hit a target at 50 yards he can certainly do the same at three feet. That assumption is not borne out by the reports.

So we feel pretty good about that. more

Barbie of the Undead

Because somebody had to. more

Zombie-killing, morally right or wrong?

You know which side we fall on...more

Sanjay Gupta Cites Zombies as "Good Example"

Too Many Zombies

We agree. This blog, however, seems to confuse zombies with month-old Twinkies dressed in outfits. more

Zombies...in...SPAAAAACE!

Fortunately, the NCRPC's jurisdiction only extends as far as Earth's atmosphere, so if you've got a zombie infestation on another spaceship, planet, dimension or what have you, you're on your own. more

Review of Zombieland

So many zombie movies seek to infuse the zombie genre with pathos, with a wry commentary on society or the human condition…basically taking themselves waaay too seriously for a film about dead bodies trying to eat people. Zombieland does not suffer from such delusions.

What Zombieland does right is revel in the chaos of a zombie apocalypse. The characters refuse to give themselves names (the better to avoid "personal attachments") and instead go by their intended destinations: Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) the nebbish shotgun-toting recluse, Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) a professional zombie killer, the winsome Wichita (Emma Stone) and her kid sister Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). Each of them is trying to get somewhere, with vague hopes and dreams of finding family and solace. But the reality, of course, is that the survivors have little hope of finding anyone alive, much less their loved ones.

And that's pretty much it. Oh, sure, there's some back story for each character, and a budding romance, but mostly Zombieland is an amusement park where zombies pop up and get smashed down like blood-filled piñatas. It's also gut-wrenchingly gross, as every good zombie film should be. There's so much blood and gore, it even spatters the screen.

Throughout the film are hilarious rules for surviving a zombie apocalypse. It's as if Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide was grafted onto Evil Dead II. Columbus lives by these rules while Tallahassee regularly breaks them. The explanation of these Rules and the victims who break them are half the fun. And who can forget the Zombie Kill of the Week. Tallahassee keeps trying, but he just can't be that nice old lady with the piano. Whenever Zombieland gets away from its main premise (you know, killing zombies) it falters a bit. A cameo by Bill Murray is funny but not THAT funny, and it drags the movie down.

By far the best part of Zombieland is the zombies themselves. The slow-motion introduction is a piece of performance art, instantly creating a story just by the placement of the zombies and the (inevitably) fleeing victim with a look of horror on his or her face. By the time you see a guy in a bad suit running from a zombie stripper, you're in the right mood for Zombieland.

If you like Twinkies, fear clowns, and always stretch before any strenuous activity, you might just have what it takes to survive Zombieland. No fan of the zombie genre should miss it.

5 Websites During The Zombie Apocalypse

This is how it will all go down...on the Interwebs. more

R/C Zombie

Officially sanctioned by the NCRPC for target practice. Like the real thing...only smaller. more

And because we love it so much...

Here's a close-up of the Zombie Defense Station instructions. more

Zombie Defense Station

The NCRPC recommends every citizen have one of these in their home. more

Undead Twist on the Food Pyramid

Cause, ya know...we need a chart to discover what zombies eat. more

World Zombie Day is October 11

Make sure your shotguns are loaded. more

CDC Report Finds Zombie Eating Habits Unhealthy

A new study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (our parent division) finds that most American zombies do not eat the recommended daily amounts of brains and other proteins. Officials say that if the trend is not checked, it could put a large portion of the zombie population at risk for premature re-death. more

Of COURSE we have a plan!

Our test run worked at the University of Florida campus. We have since removed the instructions because the simulation is over. But you can still read it here.