The Last 100 Days

You thought we were kidding about the zombie swine flu. But John Stewart knows. Oh yes, he knows.

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The Last 100 Days
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Attention Primitive Screwheads: LISTEN UP!

"You see this? This… is my TAC-15 Tactical Crossbow! PSE’s top of the line. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Tucson, Arizona. Retails for about a one thousand two hundred and ninety nine, ninety five. That’s right. Shop smart. Shop PSE-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!” more

Zombie Singles

It's come to this. Zombies, who can't even reproduce the good old-fashioned way, are now looking for love. No worse, they're actually trying to date first. Which is a bit like a zombie politely asking if it can eat your brains.

Do you know how many zombies we know who ask first and eat later? None.

So why God WHY are they trying to DATE EACH OTHER? more

The Zombie Apocalypse is Nigh

Or maybe it's the pig apocalypse. more

Journalism Versus the Zombies

On the surface, they both have a lot in common: shambling without purpose, in a twilight state between half-living and half-dead, and--if the well-publicized recent gaffes of newspapers are any indication--incapable of stringing together a coherent sentence. So who wins when they destroy each other? We do! more

Visual Guide to the ZSG...with Legos!

Every good zombie slayer has Max Brook's Zombie Survival Guide. But if you're the type who likes books with pictures in them, then this handy visual guide is for you.

We're not saying you're stupid or anything. We're also not sarcastic. At all. Ever. more

The Big Toy Hut LEGO Zombie Contest

Yes, the contest is already over, but so what? This is an awesome recreation of zombies. If they were really blocky zombies. more

How to Prepare Zombie Chicken

What's next? Zombie Soup for the Soul? more

Zombie Tools

No, not tools used by zombies. Tools made to KILL ZOMBIES, duh! more

Halligan Bar: The Ultimate Zombie Killer

There's one weapon that's most referenced in the Zombie Survival Guide, and although Max Brooks didn't realize it at the time, he meant the Halligan Bar. Seriously. more

Zombie Tower Defense

We admit it. This is a hopelessly addictive game with no strategic value whatsoever, since everybody knows that zombies don't walk in a straight line -- they sort of stumble around like drunken sailors. That doesn't make it any less fun. more

The neuropsychology of zombies

Science on the Screen at the Coolidge Corner Theatre will sponsor a showing of the classic zombie film "Night of the Living Dead," preceded by a talk by Dr. Steven Schlozman -- zombie enthusiast and assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. Technically, it's the neuropsychology of zombie apocalypse of survivors, but who's counting? more

Fight back against the zombie menace this Easter

In celebration of Zombie Outbreak 2009 this Easter Sunday, it’s time to take a look at how gaming handles the zombie menace. more

Zombie Sighting!

A Metairie resident is recovering after a stranger bit a chunk of flesh out of his arm and swallowed it Saturday afternoon. more

Zombies Are the New Vampires

Which is a compliment, actually. The article compares vampires to big banks, and zombies to their customers.

Okay so wait...that's not really a compliment. more

Zombie movies can teach us

We of course, knew that, as the NCRPC regularly distributes training simulations as "movies." But if you need any more proof, because we all know how you skeptics have to have some academic in a lab coat providing "proof," Justin Berk at the Yale Daily News explains. more

Zombie Apocalypse

Talk about your realistic simulation: Four different characters survive 55 days of zombie madness. It's like Robotron. Only with zombies. more

Zombie Blu-ray Bundle

An Amazon.com exclusive, get it while it's hot: Day of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Evil Dead II all in Blu-ray!

Resident Evil 5

This game is so good, it made me a Resident Evil fan.

I’ve never really liked the Resident Evil series. The dubbing wasn’t particularly good, the characters weren’t very compelling, and the scares…I’m fond of running and gunning, not sitting around waiting for the scary monster to jump out and eat me. Resident Evil never offered the kind of zombie-blasting experience I craved…until now.

Resident Evil 5 has a plot, but who cares about the plot? It’s all about Chris Redfield and his superhot female companion, Sheva Alomar, blasting zombies away. Oh sure, there are nuances here and there: the zombies aren’t really undead but infected with weird worm-like parasites, the zombies move fast, they’re smart enough to drive vehicles and fire weapons, and oh yeah…the majority of them are Africans.

Whether or not this matters to you depends primarily on your discomfort level with a white guy attacking red-eyed Africans with a machete and stealing their gold. Yes, the zombies actually drop gold. My suspicion is that most gamers simply don’t care, because the bad guys are zombies and thus fit into the same category as orcs in fantasy – faceless villains to be defeated in great swaths of destruction.

The problem is that Resident Evil’s graphics are now so good that it looks like the real thing—if the real thing was villages filled with rotting animal carcasses and glowing red-eyed zombies. In fantasy gaming, we don’t have a real orc to compare our opponents to. This is the burden of Resident Evil’s hyper-realistic modern gaming environment.

If you actually play the game, it’s clear that there is not an intentional bias against Africans. There are African military allies who are just as empowered as the zombies are moving targets. And Sheva is from the region, although she’s admittedly lighter skinned than many of the other African characters.

Resident Evil isn’t above breaking the rules to keep horror top of mind. Chris and Sheva can’t simply run-and-gun. They have to stop and aim, which gives zombies plenty of time to sneak up behind them. Inventory is limited, ensuring that you will frequently run out of ammunition. There are cinematic sequences that have nothing to do with shooting in which you simply die if you screw up, like giant man-eating crocodiles and chainsaw wielding zombies.

Although Sheva is in the game regardless of whether or not you play-cop, the co-op mode elevates Resident Evil 5 from a beautiful but standard zombie shooter to an awesome gaming experience. The game has mechanics to specifically encourage teamwork, ensuring that you come to the rescue of Sheva when she’s grappled by a zombie, heal each other when you’re hurt, or hurl the (presumably) lighter Sheva up on rooftops. Who says having an attractive female companion doesn’t have its perks?

Resident Evil 5 has a limited cover system, awkward reloading, and an aggravating inventory system. But that just heightens the tension. The zombie co-op bar has been raised…again!

More Zombies Than You Can Shake a Stick At

A mix and match set of plastic zombies. It contains 4 sprues with everything from fat zombies to buff zombies, rotting shirt zombies to suit zombies. more

Better Dead Than Zed!

All Things Zombie have done it again. Unlike other zombie games, where the zombies have been around for awhile, you won’t be able to tell the humans from the zombies until maybe it’s too late. Will you have what it takes to survive the first 30 days? Then what? Man, we hope so. Because with this economy, nobody's paying us enough to help you. more