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Sunday, December 20, 2009

Zombies Protest Hospital Closing

Which makes sense, if you think about it. it doesn't. more


Monday, December 7, 2009

Pentagon: Zombie Pigs First, Then Hibernating Soldiers

As if the swine flu wasn't bad enough, we're working on putting pigs into suspended animation. For the record, that's a different division of the government entirely. We'll be the ones with the shotguns. more


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Man in zombie mask robs liquor store

And THIS is why we're still in business. more


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Zombie Arrested After Police Chase

Just doing our jobs, ma'am. more


The “Zombie Hour:” When a Bad Work Day Spills Over at Home

"One couple declared a “zombie hour” immediately after getting home from work, during which each partner consciously forgave the other any bad moods or thoughtless comments. This gave each partner time to decompress."

Sounds good, until you realize that there is no such thing as "zombie time." Zombie time never rests. It just moves really slowly. more


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Zombie Research Society Says We're Unprepared

We disagree. more


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Into the Zombie Underworld

The piece is a detailed look at the elaborate system of secret societies, ritual magic, and pharmacologically-induced human trafficking that is the Haitian zombie culture. Berlinski follows Madame Zicot, a woman trying to track down her zombified daughter, Nadathe, by navigating her way through the secret societies. It is gripping as an occult procedural, and heartbreaking as a story of real personal tragedy. more


Monday, October 26, 2009

Man Punches “Zombie” In Iowa Restaurant

Look, we're all glad that citizens are attempting to take on zombies by themselves, but leave the zombie slaying to the trained professionals. Yes, even the Zombie Rights Campaign. more


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Oh great, now they're protesting...

Zombies, activists take over Blackstone/Shaw You know the zombie apocalypse is right around the corner when they start protesting in the street. Fortunately, that just makes them easier to find. Deanimation squads en route now. more


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Living Dead Zombies to Demand Universal Health Care

And this is what happens when zombies go to town halls. more


Attack of the Town Hall Zombies

Makes perfect sense to us: all this talk about death panels resulted in zombies. It's the only explanation for all the groaning. more


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Kid Attacks Other Kids, Claims Zombiedom

Yeah, we don't believe him either. more


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

When Zombies Go Bad

And we don't mean in the, "don't not so fresh that you'd want to eat them" kind of way either. more


Thursday, June 11, 2009

Zombie Neurobiology

Ever wonder how a zombie thinks? Trick question, they don't! But if they did, here's how it would work. more


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Great, they're all in one place...

The UK is, for some reason, trying to top the previous record of 1,227 zombies in one place. Which is good for zombie hunters, cause now they're all in one place...more


Saturday, May 30, 2009

Dead-on zombie costume gets man arrested

Let this be a lesson to all zombie hunters. If you're gonna kill zombies, don't do it wearing "all black, knee pads and a gas mask, and carrying what looked to be a machine gun." Dress in normal clothes and carry a bazooka. more


Friday, May 22, 2009

Calling the Cops on Zombies

At least now we know they'll actually do something about the guy gnawing on your head. more


Thursday, May 7, 2009

Real Zombie Parasites

445tonguereplacer.jpgThis is so nasty, we have difficulty writing about it. But the short of it is, these little buggers infect animals and then take over. In short: zombifying their prey. Be careful, you could be next...more


Saturday, May 2, 2009

G4 Underground: Zombie Apocalypse

Even G4 is getting in on it.


EU quarantines London in flu panic

Oh yeah baby, this is it, the big one. Stewart tried to warn us that Swine Flu created zombies and now we know it's true. Get your shotguns ready! more


Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Last 100 Days

You thought we were kidding about the zombie swine flu. But John Stewart knows. Oh yes, he knows.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
The Last 100 Days
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic CrisisFirst 100 Days


Monday, April 27, 2009

The Zombie Apocalypse is Nigh

Or maybe it's the pig apocalypse. more


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Zombie Tools

No, not tools used by zombies. Tools made to KILL ZOMBIES, duh! more


Halligan Bar: The Ultimate Zombie Killer

There's one weapon that's most referenced in the Zombie Survival Guide, and although Max Brooks didn't realize it at the time, he meant the Halligan Bar. Seriously. more


Friday, April 10, 2009

Zombie Sighting!

A Metairie resident is recovering after a stranger bit a chunk of flesh out of his arm and swallowed it Saturday afternoon. more