How to Survive a Zombie Attack

How to Survive a Zombie Attack

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Zombie Bite Calculator

Our agents use this handy tool all the time. more

Zombie Research Society

The Zombie Research Society (ZRS) is dedicated to raising the level of Zombie scholarship in the Arts and Sciences. ZRS Members represent diverse backgrounds, interests, and theories, but are unified in their support of the Society's three foundational principles:

1) A Zombie is a biologically definable, animated being occupying a human corpse.

2) The Zombie Pandemic is coming. It's not a matter of if, but a matter of when.

3) Enthusiastic debate about Zombies is essential to the survival of the human race.

Become a member of ZRS, and add your insights to the greater Zombie discussion. The life you save may be your own. more

Zombie Philippines

We support Zombie Philippines. We didn't realize they had a problem (are there really that many zombies there?) but in any case...we support them. more

In case you were wondering...

see more Funny Graphs

The Five Stages of Zombie Grief

How to survive a zombie attack using consumer electronics

Kind of a moot point, considering that when a zombie apocalypse strikes the power goes out within a couple of days. Still, this might help you in the interim. more

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

NCRPC agents' hit rate to the head is 51%.

Before you laugh, note that:

In 1992 the overall police hit potential was 17%. Where distances could be determined, the hit percentages at distances under 15 yards were:

Less than 3 yards ….. 28%
3 yards to 7 yards …. 11%
7 yards to 15 yards . 4.2%

It has been assumed that if a man can hit a target at 50 yards he can certainly do the same at three feet. That assumption is not borne out by the reports.

So we feel pretty good about that. more

Zombie-killing, morally right or wrong?

You know which side we fall on...more

And because we love it so much...

Here's a close-up of the Zombie Defense Station instructions. more

Zombie Defense Station

The NCRPC recommends every citizen have one of these in their home. more

Of COURSE we have a plan!

Our test run worked at the University of Florida campus. We have since removed the instructions because the simulation is over. But you can still read it here.

The Best Approach for Avoiding Zombies

Physicist Davide Cassi at the Università di Parma in Italy looked at how long an entity hiding in a complex structure could survive if being pursued by predatory random walkers. Cassi's paper, recently published in the journal Physical Review E, is the first to describe a general principle of a prey’s likelihood to survive over time while hiding in an irregular structure.

Or you could read Cassi's take on it, which is a little less clear:

The survival probability of immobile targets annihilated by a population of random walkers on inhomogeneous discrete structures, such as disordered solids, glasses, fractals, polymer networks, and gels, is analytically investigated. It is shown that, while it cannot in general be related to the number of distinct visited points as in the case of homogeneous lattices, in the case of bounded coordination numbers its asymptotic behavior at large times can still be expressed in terms of the spectral dimension d-tilde and its exact analytical expression is given. The results show that the asymptotic survival probability is site-independent of recurrent structures (d-tilde <=2), while on transient structures (d-tilde >2) it can strongly depend on the target position, and such dependence is explicitly calculated.

Yeah, we didn't understand it either. more

Mathematical Model for Surviving a Zombie Attack

Oh yes, somebody actually did a study on mathematics of a hypothetical zombie attack, and published it in a book on infectious disease. So, while we still don’t know what to do if a deadly asteroid takes aim at Earth, an unlikely but technically possible situation, we now know what to do in case of a zombie attack. more

Zombie Engagement & Destruction Squad

Hey! Did you know there's an organization dedicated to destroying zombies? No, not us. And not the Zombie Squad. It's Zombie Engagement & Destruction Squad (ZEDS). Of course. more

Do Zombies Fear Fire?

Good question. Do they fear death? Getting shot? Drowned? Decapitated? Halitosis?

No? There's your answer. more

Zombie Research Society

Because somebody has to think about how to cure the zombie plague while we're out blowing their brains out. more

Zombie Kung Flu

Pop quiz, hotshot! What's the stupidest way to fight off a zombie?

Punch it in the face.

But man it sure does feel good. Unfortunately, you'll be sipping brains before you know it. more

RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAY!

Pop quiz, hotshot! What's the two most effective tools in your zombie survival kit?

That's right. Your left and right feet. more

Surviving the Apocalypse

We've posted videos like this before. This one seems suspiciously inspired by Left4Dead. Which is ridiculous, because everyone knows you can't learn to survive zombies from silly video games. They aren't real, DUH! more

Washington Gives Advice on Surviving Zombies

Yeah, thanks guys. Now as soon as you admit to being behind the plague that started it all we'll forgive you. more

Five Weapons to Have for a Zombie Apocalypse

'Cause nothing says "you can't eat my brains" like a Barret M107 heavy machinegun. more

Know Your Foe!

There are different kinds of zombies: fast, slow, disgusting, hilarious, moany, growly, stupid, smart, the list goes on and on. This list makes it clear who's who and what's what. more

What To Do In A Zombie Attack

Got Plans?

Zombies help break bones and destroy bodies. That's why it's important to have a well-thought out zombie defense system. more

Essential Gear to Survive a Zombie Attack

Hey you! Yeah you in the funny hat! You're not prepared for a zombie invasion, are ya punk? We knew it. So you'd better go out and start buying this stuff now before it's too late! more

Zombie Movie Preparedness Kit

Because the truly prepared don't just prepare for the zombie apocalypse, they prepare for MOVIES involving the zombie apocalypse. more

Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki

We fully endorse the Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki.

'Cause it's a wiki about defending against and surviving zombies. Duh. more