Monday, December 1
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer - the AWFUL TRUTH!
I just have to get this off my chest, because nobody else seems to be making this connection on the Internet:Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer is a pretty macabre song, all things considered. Grandma, drunk and undermedicated, stumbles out into the snow and suffers a hit-and-run incident by a popular Christmas character. Pretty sucky Christmas day, if you ask me.
But if you consider for a moment that Santa didn't do it (either because he doesn't exist or because Santa is a much better driver than that), then there's one other person who seems to be an obvious culprit.
Now were all so proud of Grandpa.Granpa's taking it all a little TOO well, don't you think? Grandpa clearly murdered grandma, stamped hoof prints on her forehead and "Claus" marks on her back (what is that, a boot print?). Why would grandma go out in the snow by herself? What the heck was grandpa doing? Plotting her murder, that's what. She probably died from her lack of medicine -- what medicine was that, anyway? Grandpa got her drunk, conveniently forgot her medication, and then left her to die in the snow!
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.
He was offing the old biddy! Now that you know the truth, can we all stop listening to this awful song? Or at least bring grandpa up on charges?
Labels: music reviews
posted by talien at
11:23 AM
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Monday, May 26
The Real Meaning of "Girl" by Beck
Just discovered Beck's fabulous "Girl" (I know, it takes me years to discover songs). I've seen a lot of controversy over whether this is a love song, or a serial killer's internal monologue, and a lot of theories in between. Here's what I think:I saw her, yeah I saw her with her black tongue tiedThe narrator sees a girl (noticably not a woman) pounding on a vending machine. She has a diamond ring on her finger, which he mocks, calling it a toy. Her marriage, it's clear, is something she's not mature enough to understand. He also feels she's either self-destructive of hopelessly naieve, and that although she wears dark sunglasses (cause she's that cool), she actually has a huge ego. Her ego's big enough that if she were to hang herself, she'd block the sun out. She's obviously into goth-type attitude/attire, as evidenced by her "black tongue tied" and "dark sunglasses." Judging from the tongue-tied, I'd guess she's a theater major or English major fond of spouting epithets that don't make her sound any smarter.
Round the roses
Fist pounding on a vending machine
Toy diamond ring stuck on her finger
With a noose she can hang from the sun
And put it out with her dark sunglasses
Walking crooked down the beachAs she walks down the beach in a crooked line, a line that most people walk straight (and thus representative of her winding, indecisive life), she spits. Again, not a nice image for an object of affection, but more importantly she doesn't even know what's she spits on. Alternately, she's too oblivious to notice the bones of the creatures on the beach, as she's so wrapped up in herself.
She spits on the sand where their bones are bleaching
And I know I'm gonna steal her eye
She doesn't even know what's wrongSo "gonna make her die" -- does that mean Beck wants to kill this poor girl?
And I know I'm gonna make her die
Take her where her soul belongs
And I know I'm gonna steal her eye
Nothing that I wouldn't try
I doubt it. It's more likely he's going to break her heart. He feels he's a real man, better to bring this girl into a real relationship than the stupid marriage she's locked into. He's been watching her all this time and plans to grab her attention ("steal her eye") and is quite determined to do it.
Hey, My...girlThe refrain is the real crux of the song, and Beck knows it. On his own site he blurred the lyrics. Sure it sounds like sun-eyed girl. Or cyanide girl. Of course, both are right. Despite her goth attire, the girl is hopelessly naieve (sun-eyed). But she's also hopelessly self-destructive as a result of that toy diamond ring. So if someone's going to kill her foolish spirit, Beck's the one to do it...or at least imagining he could do it.
Hey, My...girl
I saw her, yeah I saw her with her hands tied backWe move forward in time. Now see the girl again. Her hands are tied (literally, she doesn't know what to do now), her clothes are a mess. She's now desperate to prove she has value after the wreck of her marriage ("land-filled life"), as so many of us wish to "scrawl our names" -- but she's scrawling it on the ceiling, not the floor. If she's outside, this is a hopelessly futile gesture. If she's inside, it still denotes her naieve outlook of looking up instead of down at the landfill she just crawled out of. Always up and onwards!
And her rags were burning
Crawling out from a landfilled life
Scrawling her name upon the ceiling
Throw a coin in a fountain of dustShe's still taking stupid chances, maybe playing the lottery -- she throws bad money after good by tossing a coin in a fountain, but it's a dusty fountain (traditionally tossing a coin in a fountain is lucky). She's also not listening. She hears white noise instead of any actual advice. So who's next great hope for this hopeless girl? Beck, of course.
White noise, her ears are ringing
Got a ticket for a midnight hangingThe ultimately irony here is that Beck probably caused the dissolution of her marriage. And now he's going to tell her he's breaking up with her too. He's got a ticket to tell her, and then get the hell out of there fast -- throwing a bullet from a train, which is both fast and lethal (to her hopes and dreams).
Throw a bullet from a freight train leaving
And I know I'm gonna steal her eye
She doesn't even know what's wrong
And I know I'm gonna make her die
Take her where her soul belongs
And I know I'm gonna steal her eye
Nothing that I would not try
This is, in my opinion, a rather morose perspective on a relationship; an extremely jaded view on a relatoinship with an immature girl who's trying to be a grown-up but doesn't have the emotional maturity to handle it. And Beck is comforting himself, perhaps, by teaching her an important, painful life lesson that her marriage was never of any value in the first place.
Labels: music reviews
posted by talien at
11:32 PM
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Wednesday, January 30
FreeCreditReport.com Commercial
This commercial makes me laugh.They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
so why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant?
It’s all because some hacker stole my identity.
Now I’m in here every evening serving chowder and iced tea.
Should have gone to freecreditreport.com (yeehaa!)
I could have seen this coming at me like an atom bomb.
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts.
So you don’t end up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts.
Labels: music reviews
posted by talien at
10:34 AM
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Friday, December 1
Right Where It Belongs
I thought I'd take some time to enjoy lyrics from Nine Inch Nails' "Right Where It Belongs," which currently applies to both real life as well as our D&D campaign:
See the animal in his cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs
[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?
What if all the world's inside of your head
Just creations of your own?
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you're really all alone?
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees
[Chorus:]
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?
Labels: music reviews
posted by talien at
10:40 PM
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