Collateral Damage

Someone decided that Arnie can't rely on his muscles alone (the man's pushing 50, for crying out loud) and made this movie. It is supposed to show off his acting skills. Arnie gets to cry, rage silently, bicker with sleazeballs, and Do the Right Thing (tm). All the while, he is a fireman out for revenge against a random terrorist act that obliterated his family.

Arnold's character is part McGuyver, part brawny fireman, part Punisher. He travels to Colombia on his own, surviving against all odds and his obviously foreign accent to...well to kill people. Only he learns that there are losses on both sides of any conflict. And he trades revenge in for the opportunity to save a little boy.

This movie stops just short of Arnie singing, "All we are saaaaying is give peace a chance" while holding two babies of different ethnicities in his arms. It's sappy, it's crappy, it's all over the mappy.

Okay, so I couldn't come up with an "appy" word. Point is, this is a mediocre film that would have been utterly ignored if it hadn't been for September 11. The director's commentary pumps up this movie to be of vital importance to American culture when in reality, it's a castoff of the cinema world.

In the end, Arnie takes on the bad guys with a fireman's axe. 'Cause he's a fireman. And stuff.

And oh yeah, there's a twist ending as to who the villain is. Yawn.