Geek Vacations: 2

Resorts for Geeks

Resorts for geeks. It seems almost oxymoronic: why would a geek want to go someplace and lie around like a stranded cetacean, when one can do that in the comfort of one's own home? A true geek would be bored to tears. True geeks crave intellectual stimulation.

Yet there are resorts for geeks. There aren't very many, but there are resorts where "all-inclusive" includes intellectual stimulation.

Walt Disney World

Walt Disney World is certainly one of these resorts, if you know where to go, and what to do. Aside from the frequently very geeky theme park attractions, like Hall of Presidents, Carousel of Progress, Ellen's Energy Adventure, Mission: Space, Kilimanjaro Safaris, Conservation Station, and the Great Movie Ride, there are also several tours available that are ideal for geeks. Backstage Magic spends seven hours visiting interesting backstage locations in Epcot, Studios, and the Magic Kingdom, as well as support and maintenance areas. The Magic Behind Our Steam Trains meets in front of Magic Kingdom an hour before it opens. You ride a train back to the Roundhouse, inspect a locomotive, and learn about various technical and safety procedures, as well as Walt's own lifelong connections with trains. Animal Kingdom has a backstage tour of its own, as well.

Another important feature of Walt Disney World is that it's conveniently close to Kennedy Space Center, which has had public tour facilities (and a number of museums, some of which are only open to the general public as part of extra-cost tours).

Alas, as I write this, two of Walt Disney World's geekiest attractions are no longer with us: the two comedy clubs of Pleasure Island, Adventurers and the Comedy Warehouse. It's possible they may return in some form, as part of the redevelopment of Pleasure Island, but probably not in the same form they were in for nearly two decades.

Colonial Williamsburg

Colonial Williamsburg is America's largest and oldest living history facility. And since it offers hotels, dining, activities, and package deals, it certainly qualifies as a resort. A history resort.

Lodging in Colonial Williamsburg is available for every budget, from the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation itself: the Governor's Inn offers spartan rooms for those on a tight budget, with a continental breakfast and its own van service to the Visitor Center and the Historic Area. The Woodlands offers a few more amenities, and is on the grounds of the Visitor Center, next to the "Huzzah!" restaurant; the Williamsburg Inn, the oldest and most luxurious of the three, is located on the south side of the Historic Area, and has two golf courses. Then there are the Colonial House accommodations: several houses on the edge of the Historic Area (some original, some reconstructed) have been turned into hotel rooms, for the most immersive experience possible.

The Historic Area itself is filled with shops and historic attractions (the latter require an admission badge, usually bought as part of a package), as well as unique immersive dining experiences like the King's Arms and Christiana Campbell's. There are also day and evening tours, musical and theatrical performances, reenactments, and so forth, including a backstage tour. From early in the morning through late in the evening, automobile traffic is prohibited in the Historic Area, (even for the few families who still live there), in order to preserve the colonial ambience.

Of course, nothing is perfect, and Colonial Williamsburg is no exception. Most notable is a certain level of snobbishness that probably comes with the territory of being America's oldest living history facility, as well as a certain tendency to value appearance above substance. Still, as a place for a U.S. history geek to spend a vacation, Colonial Williamsburg is hard to beat.

The Grand Canyon

Yosemite might be pretty primitive in terms of in-park lodgings (for my money, the Yosemite View Lodge, just outside the Park Entrance, is a better choice; it has its own YARTS bus stop, providing easy transportation not only into the Park and back, but also to the Merced Amtrak station), but the South Rim of the Grand Canyon is another matter. You can take a train (with vintage rolling stock) from Williams to the Rim, and once you get there, you've got clean, comfortable hotel rooms (with no danger of rude awakenings by the local wildlife) for a variety of price ranges. If riding an ass down a steep, narrow, winding trail down to the bottom isn't your cup of tea, you've got both shuttle and tour buses to take you around to various places of interest.

Space Camp

For the space geek, if simply taking excursions from Walt Disney World to Kennedy Space Center isn't enough, if you really want to seriously "take up space," then there's always Space Camp, in Huntsville, AL. I've never been there myself, but I do know that they have family and adult programs as well as children's programs.

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James H. H. Lampert