During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!"

The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.

The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?"

The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.

The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.

The Roman Catholics passed a long-handled basket to cover the damage.

The Jews posted symbols on the door hoping the fire would pass.

The Congregationalists shouted, "Every man for himself!"

The Fundamentalists proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God! Darn, it looks like it's a post-trib rapture."

The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.

The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no fire.

The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report.

The Pentecostals said, "It's the Holy Spirit!"

The Muslims vowed that the fire was a declaration of Holy War.

The Unity Students proclaimed the fire had no power over them.

The Seventh Day Adventists were not in attendance because they did not like the day that the meeting was held.

The Willow Creek megachurch advertised it as BBQ and invited the public to watch.

The Unitarians called the fire department.

The Amish formed a bucket brigade.

The Worldwide Church of God made an award winning video of the whole event, sold the video and made only enough money to cover the cost of production.

The Televangelists declared that the fire was retribution for the sins of the church. Please call and pledge generously if you want this message to continue.

Falwell and Robertson blamed the fire on on pagans, abortionists, feminists, homosexuals, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People for the American Way.

The Calvary Chapel leaders declared that the fire was the result of Secular Humanism.

The Scientologists declared that the fire was the work of Xenu, and/or various body thetans, then promptly took out their E-meters and began intensively auditing each other.

Dr. Gene Scott glanced at his meerschaum pipe, and muttered "Wasn't me. Prob'ly some bureaucratic monkey."

The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.