November 11, 2003

49 years that has sweep by!

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How do you sum it up, 49 years that has sweep by and as a kid tomorrow would never get here. Christmas just around the corner and it seems it Precious Memories! was just the other day that we had Christmas. Here today and gone tomorrow, each passing year a little more precious. Memories to have and hold, some good, some not so good. Many of our loved ones have passed away and that seems to draw me closer to the ones we have left. Here is a futile attempt to describe through the years in the eyes of Jerry Webb and hopefully interesting enough once you start reading you will want to continue. To start I think I will sum up the number one, the most difficult time through the years and number two, the most frustrating part of my life thus far. The most difficult was my first divorce. Through the years my parents had a very unhappy marriage. It was a love-hate relationship finally ending in divorce after I left home at the age of 16. One statement my Dad(Shelton) use to make was "When we were dating I could have just ate your Mom up, now I wish the hell I had". The many times they separated was a tragedy for us as a family. A relationship and marriage I had hoped for was about to end. My divorce came at the heels of our 8th anniversary, what an eye opening, earth shattering event. I never thought our relationship would end up in divorce court. Jennifer, our daughter was age 3 at the time. " You don't go and look for a Volkswagen when you have a Cadillac in the garage"! One evening when arriving home from work, I find our home pretty much cleaned out and a note on the counter saying to get in touch with her lawyer. The events that lead up to this rupture in our marriage, was a great deal my fault by trying to work a full-time job and have a business also. I read many books about marriage after the fact and the one statement that still stands out to this day was," You don't go and look for a Volkswagen when you have a Cadillac in the garage". So even though I can throw stones, it's always a two-sided story, two perspectives, at least two hurting individuals, plus the children caught up like a whirlwind, in the middle, and confused. I think I took divorce harder than most men because that's something that never entered my mind and at the time I thought I was building a future for my family, only to realize that was I was destroying our relationship. To little, to late, to far gone to save, too much water under the bridge. Her mind was made up; she had found her Cadillac. It seemed like a little part of me died with the closing of that marriage. Colleen Webb had been a real comfort during this devastating time, more than anyone else. Some how, some way, she always knew what to say. It could have been she had gone through so much with the death of Linwood that she could truly feel my pain. What I am about to write next will totally amaze many of you that do not know me very well. It's the most frustrating part of my life through the years and that is controlling my mouth. Not what I say, but what I eat. Can you imagine gaining in an access of one hundred (100) pounds in less than a year? If you wanted to describe me in one word, NO..NO I don't have a sweet tooth I have a mouth full of sweet teeth!! the history of Jerry Webb "Dieter". A life of riding the diet train, I can't remember all the diets I have tried, weight watchers, protein diets, two operations, and here I am, obese again. If you had seen me 18 months ago and then now, amazing would probably be in the vocabulary. Through the years it's been such a struggle, a losing battle it seems. The last operation, the doctor said you will never have to diet again, well he lied, or should I say he was mistaken. Just over a year ago I was in tiptop shape awarded the fastest bicycle rider in Danville and South Boston by fellow riders, to now ashamed to run across one of them. I have heard the stories of me as a baby, home after birth, consuming twice that of the normal feedings for a new born. And the story is told that was the only way they could get me to stop crying, is feed me. So I guess food, is my life in a big part, that is the wrong foods. Sweets, my downfall, never enough, never too much. If I have a bag of candy, Ice Cream, Cake, or cookies around the house, it worries me to death until it's finished. NO..NO I don't have a sweet tooth……It's a whole mouth full of sweet teeth.!! The second operation to control my weight was in March of 1999. It is called the Mini Gastric Bypass. The doctor performs this laproscopically, rather than making a large incision. 6 small incisions are made and miniature instruments and camera used. The stomach is then divided, completely cut into and stapled, giving you two stomachs. The small part of the stomach is the size of a cigar and that is the part still attached to the esophagus. Then about 6 feet from the stomach the intestine is cut and the new stomach is inserted and stapled together. The remaining old stomach is still in tact and what you have now is loop bypassing 6 feet of the intestine with the gastric juices from the old stomach to help digest food. After the surgery, a one night stay in the hospital, I was released to come home. Jimmy and Hazel Kendrick(Uncle & Aunt) had carried me to the hospital in Durham; NC spent the night and was my transportation back home. Of course other relatives were there also. After the hour-45 minute ride back home I was not feeling to well, I thought, it's just the long ride. Walking up my driveway I felt a little weak and the next thing I knew Jimmy, Hazel, and my Aunt Gladys are trying to get me up out of the shrubbery. I had passed out, first time in my life. They get me in the garage and I pass out again. Finally they got me in the den and into the recliner and I was able to rest for several hours. My brother (Gary) is spending the night and with his help I make it upstairs to my bedroom. I rest well that night and feel rather well the next morning. I take a bath, work on the computer for a while, and then go down to the den to watch a little television. All of a sudden I have these sharp pains in my stomach and side and Gary helps me back to bed. About an hour passes and I have to use the bathroom. I get in the doorway to the bathroom and lights out again. The thing was I had no idea it was about to happen BOOM, out again. Gary hears me fall and when I come to, he says don't move I'm going to get help to get you back in bed. " had something terribly gone wrong and I was dying?"! By this time Jennifer my daughter and her husband Eric, Edith my sister, and Aunt Gladys have arrived. Gary is on the phone trying to reach the doctor and Jennifer is on the computer emailing. Jennifer gets the first response from the doctor by email, he says to get me to the hospital in Durham ASAP. Jennifer gets my clothes packed and I'm laying on the bed joking with my son-in-law Eric and Gary, really not feeling to bad. We are ready to leave for the hospital and I sit up on the edge of the bed. Boom..I'm gone again. They said my eyes just rolled back and just passed out like before with out having a clue what was about to happen. When I come to, now this really gets scary, I can not see, talk, or move, I can hear and that's it. The Life Saving Crew is called, and they arrive in minutes. I'm conscious now, but can only hear. The crew cannot get me out of the bedroom on a stretcher; the turn is to tight entering the hall. During this time Aunt Gladys has gone out side, tears flowing, screaming to my neighbor, he's dying. They put me in a chair and work me through the door, and then finally get me on the stretcher. The crew gives me oxygen and by the time they get me in the ambulance I can see again. That was definitely scary and I did think in my mind something had terribly gone wrong and I was dying. To Be Continued! Return To The Family Tree