House of 1,000 Corpses (HOTC) was one of those movies that I wanted to see merely because of the film's reputation. After all, Rob Zombie, lover of all things shlocky and evil, created it. Therefore we were guaranteed a hoot of a bad time. Right?

Well, not quite.

Describing the plot is almost pointless, but I'll give it a try: Two couples are on a tour of the weird and strange in Middle America. There's too dumb-to-live Jerry (Chris Hardwick), dubious Bill (Rainn Wilson, from The Office), Bill's girlfriend Mary (Jennifer Jostyn) and Jerry's girlfriend Denise (Erin Daniels). They eventually run into Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig), a ferocious clown with an attitude. He's by far the best part of the show, chewing scenery and spitting nails with his pop-eyed attitude and his crusty accent. Spaulding lets slip that the notorious serial killer, Dr. Satan (Walter Phelan), was once hung from a nearby tree. Of course, our Scooby gang has to go see it for themselves.

What ensues is basically the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They meet the Fireflys, who consists of every psycho family trope: scruffy Rufus (Robert Allen Mukes), lecherous Mother (Karen Black), cackling Grandpa (Dennis Fimple), gigantic Tiny (Matthew McGory) and last but not least, the highly annoying Baby (Sheri Moon and Rob's wife). Residing over this insane brood is Otis (Bill Moseley), the lead serial killer and psycho who kidnaps a bunch of teenagers while lecturing them on his particularly twisted philosophy. Somewhere in the background Sheriff Drake Huston (William Bassett) and Denise's father Don (Harrison Young) continue the search for our four protagonists after they disappear.

There are a lot of problems with this film, not the least of which that it's obvious Zombie doesn't know what to do with the movie. The plot particularly suffers, because there's no sense of dread. Instead of making, say, the attack on the victims a sneaky ambush, it's an out-in-the-daylight scene with no mystery or suspense. Even the initial scene, of Spaulding being robbed, completely lacks any real tension. Zombie's got high ambition, but he's obviously inexperienced and it shows.

The film is schizophrenic in its tastes, uncertain as to whether it's a horror film or a science fiction flick. At one point, Spaulding asks Bill what style of movies he likes and he indicates "science fiction." That would explain the second half of the movie, which involves mutants, an undead doctor, and lots of trepanation.

Through no fault of its own, Rainn Wilson in anything turns it into "Dwight in House of a Thousand Corpses." Seeing him get killed is unintentionally hilarious. Then there's Baby, who is the most annoying character to grace the screen since Erkel. Giggling in a high pitched screech reminiscent of dolphin speech, she recites stupid nursery rhymes, dances around in her underwear, and otherwise tries to be scary. Instead, she just comes off as silly.

House of a 1,000 Corpses is surprisingly tame in its gore and violence. Sure, there's some weird dismembering and flesh sculpting, but none of it is on the level of say, Hostel. For a movie that really revels in its gruesomeness, HOTC is sorely lacking.

Still, HOTC some great moments. There's a very long execution scene wherein Zombie uses the pregnant pause to spectacular effect, and he experiments with camera angles that work every fifth time he tries something new. It's telling that the best acting takes place during the insults the characters sling at you during the DVD menus.

Zombie obviously has a lot to prove, as evidenced by his gonzo style of filmmaking. There's a lot of "fades to pastel" (that's the only way I can describe it) instead of fading to black and white. There's a creepy clown. And there's plenty of down home wisecrackin', clownin', cannibalism, sadistic acts, and some science fiction crap thrown in at the end.

HOTC is more a student's trial film than something meant for general viewing, and while it is occasionally entertaining, it's very unpolished. Horror students can get away with a lot because the genre is very forgiving, but Zombie can do better. The sequel, The Devil's Rejects, should be a considerable improvement.