National Center for Reanimation Prevention and Control

Left 4 Dead 2 Zombie Holiday Cards

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:11:00 +0000

Because nothing says Happy Holidays like dead people. more

Review of Zombies: A Record of the Year of Infection

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:13:00 +0000

Zombies: A Record of the Year of Infection is an illustrated journal of a zombie plague that struck the world on January 7, 2012. The journal's author, Dr. Robert Twombly, is a blood specialist who is hopefully in a position to explain the zombie plague. Right? Why else would you make a scientist the protagonist?

Things go south in the very next sentence: "The infection lasted approximately one year, and during that time all known zombies either decayed enough to succumb to their physical limitations or were destroyed by pockets of human survivors."

Imagine the scrolling text in the beginning of Star Wars reading: "A long time ago in a galaxy, far, far away…The Empire was eventually defeated by the Rebellion." The end.

The challenge for a book or movie (like Paranormal Activity and The Blair Witch Project) that act as if the events are real is in immersion – the reader has to believe they're in the moment. This takes a lot of work. To make something scary requires the observer to become absorbed enough to empathize with the protagonist. Giving away that the plague ended isn't relevant – the ending of the book has nothing to do with world events. So giving us that tidbit of information (in the prologue and on the back cover) saps the book of any sense of urgency or dread.

This would all be forgivable if Zombies contributed something different to the zombie genre. It doesn't: zombies are slow but strong in numbers, travel in packs, and can only be stopped by destroying the head.

The other important part of a zombie narrative is the eccentric survivors. But Zombies doesn't have anything to offer here either: inhuman gun-toting nut jobs, tough-as-nails survivalists, an isolated community convinced it's safe, the pathetic zombie slave, the noble dog, a creepy old lady alone in her house…it's like someone used the 8-Ball of Horror, shook it up a few times, and wrote a comic.

Our protagonist does everything from running experiments on infected blood to breaking into the company's research facility (Primodine) that supposedly created the infection. And he comes up with nothing. A golden opportunity to provide some pathology for how zombies work and the book glosses over it.

The artwork is of variable quality, reflecting the supposedly rushed nature of a scientist on the run. It's mostly watercolor, with lots of red and grays. Although it's supposedly handwritten, the text is actually a font. Fortunately, the font is suitably unobtrusive. What's much more annoying is the various scribbles where the author wrote something, thought better about it, and scratched it out. It gets annoying fast.

It's not all bad. There are some band mates that are interesting, which leads to an awesome illustration of a zombie getting axed by a guitar. Birds aren't afraid of zombies, so we get a great picture of a bird sitting on a zombie's head with an eyeball dangling from its beak. But none of these elements make up for the fact that Zombies has nothing new to share about zombies.

The Unemployment Rate in Terms of a Zombie Apocalypse

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:21:00 +0000

Zombie Weatherman for iPhone

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 15:37:00 +0000

Zombie Weatherman for iPhone is an application for people who love to look at a zombie while they are finding out about the weather. It features automatically uses your current location, current weather conditions and forecast for the next four days, zombie always predicts doom and destruction five days from now, tap the Zombie to attack him. and pet the zombie to apologize to him.

May we suggest a hobby? more

Zombie Arrested After Police Chase

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:56:00 +0000

Just doing our jobs, ma'am. more

The “Zombie Hour:” When a Bad Work Day Spills Over at Home

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:53:00 +0000

"One couple declared a “zombie hour” immediately after getting home from work, during which each partner consciously forgave the other any bad moods or thoughtless comments. This gave each partner time to decompress."

Sounds good, until you realize that there is no such thing as "zombie time." Zombie time never rests. It just moves really slowly. more

FVZA: Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency #1

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:50:00 +0000

Props to our sister organization, The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency. They've got their own comic! Meanwhile, we have to buy our own coffee... more

Zombie Research Society Says We're Unprepared

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:03:00 +0000

We disagree. more

Into the Zombie Underworld

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:28:00 +0000

The piece is a detailed look at the elaborate system of secret societies, ritual magic, and pharmacologically-induced human trafficking that is the Haitian zombie culture. Berlinski follows Madame Zicot, a woman trying to track down her zombified daughter, Nadathe, by navigating her way through the secret societies. It is gripping as an occult procedural, and heartbreaking as a story of real personal tragedy. more

No Room Left in Hell

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:43:00 +0000

Tango Echo provides an overview of zombies from A to Z. more

How To Make Your Very Own Zombie

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:43:00 +0000

Don't get any ideas.

Wait, why are we posting this? more

Zombie Signs

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:23:00 +0000

Please note that these are not signs you're a zombie. They're signs. About zombies. more

The 37 Greatest Zombie Triumphs

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:22:00 +0000

You might think that an article labeled "zombie triumphs" would be about when the zombies win. Fortunately, this article has nothing to do with that. more

Man Punches “Zombie” In Iowa Restaurant

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:39:00 +0000

Look, we're all glad that citizens are attempting to take on zombies by themselves, but leave the zombie slaying to the trained professionals. Yes, even the Zombie Rights Campaign. more

Animatronic Zombie

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:52:00 +0000

Shoot! SHOOT! more

Zombie Apocalypse Invades Champions

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:50:00 +0000

First there was Marvel Zombies. Now they're invading the Champions Universe. Too bad those two universes don't have their own versions of the NCRPC. We'll stick our own, superhero-free reality, thanks. more

Zombie Rights Campaign

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:32:00 +0000

We believe in all kinds of zombie rights.

They have the right to be blown to bits by a shotgun.

...the right to a frontal lobotomy courtesy of an NCRPC agent.

...the right to be hacked up, chainsawed, axed, torn, slashed, shredded, melted, burned, exploded, squashed, crushed, and otherwise mutilated. more

Now they have a prom...

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:32:00 +0000

Will the zombie rights never end? more

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage...

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:53:00 +0000

Then comes...more zombies, we guess. more

Zombie Wedding Cake

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:38:00 +0000

If you can find a woman willing to have this as her wedding cake, she's a keeper. more

5 Ways to Accidentally Start a Zombie Apocalypse

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:31:00 +0000

Don't get any ideas. more

The Zombie Game Experiment

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 21:54:00 +0000

This game rocks. Because it has a cat launcher as a weapon.

Or it will, eventually. more

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:41:00 +0000

NCRPC agents' hit rate to the head is 51%.

Before you laugh, note that:

In 1992 the overall police hit potential was 17%. Where distances could be determined, the hit percentages at distances under 15 yards were:

Less than 3 yards ….. 28%
3 yards to 7 yards …. 11%
7 yards to 15 yards . 4.2%

It has been assumed that if a man can hit a target at 50 yards he can certainly do the same at three feet. That assumption is not borne out by the reports.

So we feel pretty good about that. more

Barbie of the Undead

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:12:00 +0000

Because somebody had to. more

Zombie-killing, morally right or wrong?

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:03:00 +0000

You know which side we fall on...more