National Center for Reanimation Prevention and Control

Zombie Arrested After Police Chase

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:56:00 +0000

Just doing our jobs, ma'am. more

The “Zombie Hour:” When a Bad Work Day Spills Over at Home

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:53:00 +0000

"One couple declared a “zombie hour” immediately after getting home from work, during which each partner consciously forgave the other any bad moods or thoughtless comments. This gave each partner time to decompress."

Sounds good, until you realize that there is no such thing as "zombie time." Zombie time never rests. It just moves really slowly. more

FVZA: Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency #1

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:50:00 +0000

Props to our sister organization, The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency. They've got their own comic! Meanwhile, we have to buy our own coffee... more

Zombie Research Society Says We're Unprepared

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:03:00 +0000

We disagree. more

Into the Zombie Underworld

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:28:00 +0000

The piece is a detailed look at the elaborate system of secret societies, ritual magic, and pharmacologically-induced human trafficking that is the Haitian zombie culture. Berlinski follows Madame Zicot, a woman trying to track down her zombified daughter, Nadathe, by navigating her way through the secret societies. It is gripping as an occult procedural, and heartbreaking as a story of real personal tragedy. more

No Room Left in Hell

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:43:00 +0000

Tango Echo provides an overview of zombies from A to Z. more

How To Make Your Very Own Zombie

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:43:00 +0000

Don't get any ideas.

Wait, why are we posting this? more

Zombie Signs

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:23:00 +0000

Please note that these are not signs you're a zombie. They're signs. About zombies. more

The 37 Greatest Zombie Triumphs

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:22:00 +0000

You might think that an article labeled "zombie triumphs" would be about when the zombies win. Fortunately, this article has nothing to do with that. more

Man Punches “Zombie” In Iowa Restaurant

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:39:00 +0000

Look, we're all glad that citizens are attempting to take on zombies by themselves, but leave the zombie slaying to the trained professionals. Yes, even the Zombie Rights Campaign. more

Animatronic Zombie

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:52:00 +0000

Shoot! SHOOT! more

Zombie Apocalypse Invades Champions

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:50:00 +0000

First there was Marvel Zombies. Now they're invading the Champions Universe. Too bad those two universes don't have their own versions of the NCRPC. We'll stick our own, superhero-free reality, thanks. more

Zombie Rights Campaign

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:32:00 +0000

We believe in all kinds of zombie rights.

They have the right to be blown to bits by a shotgun.

...the right to a frontal lobotomy courtesy of an NCRPC agent.

...the right to be hacked up, chainsawed, axed, torn, slashed, shredded, melted, burned, exploded, squashed, crushed, and otherwise mutilated. more

Now they have a prom...

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:32:00 +0000

Will the zombie rights never end? more

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage...

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:53:00 +0000

Then comes...more zombies, we guess. more

Zombie Wedding Cake

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:38:00 +0000

If you can find a woman willing to have this as her wedding cake, she's a keeper. more

5 Ways to Accidentally Start a Zombie Apocalypse

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:31:00 +0000

Don't get any ideas. more

The Zombie Game Experiment

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 21:54:00 +0000

This game rocks. Because it has a cat launcher as a weapon.

Or it will, eventually. more

How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:41:00 +0000

NCRPC agents' hit rate to the head is 51%.

Before you laugh, note that:

In 1992 the overall police hit potential was 17%. Where distances could be determined, the hit percentages at distances under 15 yards were:

Less than 3 yards ….. 28%
3 yards to 7 yards …. 11%
7 yards to 15 yards . 4.2%

It has been assumed that if a man can hit a target at 50 yards he can certainly do the same at three feet. That assumption is not borne out by the reports.

So we feel pretty good about that. more

Barbie of the Undead

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:12:00 +0000

Because somebody had to. more

Zombie-killing, morally right or wrong?

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:03:00 +0000

You know which side we fall on...more

Sanjay Gupta Cites Zombies as "Good Example"

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 00:35:00 +0000

Too Many Zombies

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 10:29:00 +0000

We agree. This blog, however, seems to confuse zombies with month-old Twinkies dressed in outfits. more

Zombies...in...SPAAAAACE!

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 10:27:00 +0000

Fortunately, the NCRPC's jurisdiction only extends as far as Earth's atmosphere, so if you've got a zombie infestation on another spaceship, planet, dimension or what have you, you're on your own. more

Review of Zombieland

noreply@blogger.com (talien) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 18:18:00 +0000

So many zombie movies seek to infuse the zombie genre with pathos, with a wry commentary on society or the human condition…basically taking themselves waaay too seriously for a film about dead bodies trying to eat people. Zombieland does not suffer from such delusions.

What Zombieland does right is revel in the chaos of a zombie apocalypse. The characters refuse to give themselves names (the better to avoid "personal attachments") and instead go by their intended destinations: Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) the nebbish shotgun-toting recluse, Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) a professional zombie killer, the winsome Wichita (Emma Stone) and her kid sister Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). Each of them is trying to get somewhere, with vague hopes and dreams of finding family and solace. But the reality, of course, is that the survivors have little hope of finding anyone alive, much less their loved ones.

And that's pretty much it. Oh, sure, there's some back story for each character, and a budding romance, but mostly Zombieland is an amusement park where zombies pop up and get smashed down like blood-filled piñatas. It's also gut-wrenchingly gross, as every good zombie film should be. There's so much blood and gore, it even spatters the screen.

Throughout the film are hilarious rules for surviving a zombie apocalypse. It's as if Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide was grafted onto Evil Dead II. Columbus lives by these rules while Tallahassee regularly breaks them. The explanation of these Rules and the victims who break them are half the fun. And who can forget the Zombie Kill of the Week. Tallahassee keeps trying, but he just can't be that nice old lady with the piano. Whenever Zombieland gets away from its main premise (you know, killing zombies) it falters a bit. A cameo by Bill Murray is funny but not THAT funny, and it drags the movie down.

By far the best part of Zombieland is the zombies themselves. The slow-motion introduction is a piece of performance art, instantly creating a story just by the placement of the zombies and the (inevitably) fleeing victim with a look of horror on his or her face. By the time you see a guy in a bad suit running from a zombie stripper, you're in the right mood for Zombieland.

If you like Twinkies, fear clowns, and always stretch before any strenuous activity, you might just have what it takes to survive Zombieland. No fan of the zombie genre should miss it.