Chartulae scribens ego cursuali
dactylos paucos, sed inepte et aegre
quoniam Musae mihi afuerunt
sola sedebam.
Efferens chartis oculos adieci
ad virum quendam mihi tunc adversum
appropinquavi, trepida attamen capta
dicere conans.
| This unfinished snippet is my first
attempt in the Sapphic meter, which I have found very rewarding. I struggled
with this one for a while in dactylic hexameter, with which I am infinitely
more comfortable, and then thought better of that meter, given the subject,
and switched to Sapphics. I was instantly rewarded, and the first strophe
in particular "clicked" very well. I got some outstanding feedback from Benedict,
including the choppiness of the second strophe and some poor word choices.
I hope to address these problems in the near future, however, I am at the
moment tied up with a Latin verse composition book, and have put a number
of my writings on hold until I glean all I can from this outstanding volume.
I'd like to get about three or four more strophes out of this one, try to construct a more complete scene and add a little reflective/didactic tail to it. |