Although many people want to comfort and help the bereaved, the
stress and anxiety of the encounter sometimes makes it difficult to
know what is actually helpful. Often, the phrase that is meant to help
actually produces more pain and distress. What follows is a partial list
of phrases that have been found to be helpful (or hurtful) in comforting
the grieving person.
WHAT TO SAY WHAT NOT TO SAY
I'm sorry I understand how you feel
I'm sad for you Death was a blessing
How are you doing with all this? It was God's will
I don't know why it happened It all happened for the best
What can I do for you? You're still young
I'm here and I want to listen You have your whole life ahead of you
Please tell me what you are feeling You'll feel worse before you feel better
This must be hard for you You can have other children
What's the hardest part for you? You can always remarry
I'll call you tomorrow Call me when I can help
You must really be hurting Something good will come out of this
It isn't fair, is it? At least you have another child
You must really feel angry He (She) led a full life
Take all the time you need It's time to put it behind you now
Thank you for sharing your feelings Be strong!
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