Discipline
I firmly believe that praise is a far more effective form of discipline than punishment. When I was teaching, I always set very specific and rigorous standards for behavior,and I enforced them consistently. During the first few weeks of each term, I'd have to call some parents and speak sharply to some students, but once everyone settled in, I was able to put more and more attention on my students' achievements and encourage them with praise.
This new program for your child is going to require some very difficult changes. As I said in the chapter on food, children want and need limits, and they relish challenges. But they also need encouragement, and the more difficult the task, the more encouragement they need.
You don't want to offer false praise, of course, since your child will instantly know you're faking it. But I do urge you to find at least three things to praise your child forevery day, and to make a strong effort to look for more and more opportunities.
And I want to warn you--your child will have setbacks. Someone will offer her some candy or a cookie, and she'll eat it. He'll flake out and forget to bring home his overnight assignment. Frustration is an integral part of any major change, and both you and your child will feel pushed beyond your limits. And more than once.
But that's all part of growth. It's up to you to insist on seeing the glass as half-full,even when it's close to empty. It's up to you to encourage you child with genuine praise even when you both feel like quitting.
And, most important of all, it's up to you to make sure your child always knows you love her, even when she just screwed up. Again.
Discipline
- Praise is a more effective form of discipline than punishment.
- Find at least three things to praise your child about every day and look for more.
- Don't fake the praise.
- Your child will have setbacks and will need you to continue to encourage him with genuine praise.
- Make sure your child always knows you love her, even when she just screwed up.