The Steverini Newswire
Networks Announce Fall Made-For-TV Movies
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Untied Press Internet'nal - Three major networks this week
announced their fall Made-For-TV movie
lineups. Spokespersons from each network say they have acknowledged
viewer complaints that TV movies
have plots and/or subplots which are too contrived and convoluted.
CBS
Still Hungry: The Return of Jeffrey Dahmer
Jeffrey Dahmer returns from beyond the grave as a giant murderous
politician who runs for city council of a
small haunted town on a distant planet populated by invisible birds who
possess an arsenal of atomic weapons.
Delinquent Teenage Bimbos With Badges
Three teenage police officers set out to break up a counterfeit antique
bedpan smuggling ring while
maintaining their cover as horny chess club cheerleaders at the worst high
school in town.
The Diaperene Baby-wipe Murders
Cave dwelling babies use dirty washcloths with built-in death rays to seek
revenge on the those responsible
for the murder of their leader, a once powerful albino cave midget whose
super powers were stolen by a
clan of three-legged pygmy saddle mules who plan to destroy the Earth by
setting off the world's supply of
bottle rockets.
Poker Elephants From Hell
NBC
Lab Rats' Revenge
Laboratory animals seek revenge on scientists by developing a serum to
morph themselves into rolls of toilet
paper impregnated with a gene altering substance that, when used, transforms
the scientists into mutant
kindergarten teachers with chronic diarrhea.
Commode of the Damned
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High school students devise a plan to flush all the school's toilets simultaneously
which causes the water
pressure to drop so severely that the entire school is sucked into a hideous vortex leading into another dimension where teachers become flesh eating zombies who worship cheese. |